FFXII is made of love and win

[cephalopod]

I am re-discovering my love for Final Fantasy XII. It is deep and powerful, like a river that is deep and powerful, but it is also perverse. Like a deep, powerful river with Ultros in it.

FFXII is the sidequesty-est game that ever sidequested a sidequest. In a very real way, the main storyline is a sideline to all the other neat junk you can do. When you can complete the 'real' story in about 40 hours of gameplay but spend 200+ hours messing around with other stuff and still have delicious niblets you haven't even touched, the real story is officially Not That Important.

And when some of these sidequests actually combine to form entire mini-plotlines that have nothing to do with the main story and are frequently cracky as hell, I am in heaven. I am never happier than when I can discover a bit of in-game info by doing something I have no business doing. This is a seriously major thing for me--most of the time I spend playing any RPG is spent avoiding/frustrating/messing with the main story. NPC X says "Oh, Heroic Protagonist! We're so glad you're here! A fire-breathing dragon is just about to come over that hill...you have just enough time to visit Weapon Shop before it arrives!" and that's when I select the > "I'll be right back!" option and fuck off to the next continent to pick radishes or something. The absurdism of it tickles me so--I know that dragon can't attack the village while I'm gone. What does the dragon do instead of attacking, in the month of game-time I spend doing something else? What do the villagers do? How do they feel when I finally come back?

There are vast treasure-houses of story waiting in the gaps between what the plot wants you to do and what the game allows you to do.

FFXII, after a couple of plot points are out of the way, is made up almost entirely of those gaps.

Gaps with cutscenes and hidden romances and fuckup moogles and Gilgamesh. Eeeeee!

Comments

[kiwikiwi]

ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE

but given the other in-game rescipes you'd be making some sort of lovely flaky italian pastry out of a giant horse-demon with no skin. :|b

but you could totally make a living out of that >->;

[cephalopod]

SKINLESS HORSE DEMON PASTRY MMM

...criminy, isn't and_cupcakes intended for just such a purpose? I gotta work up a recipe.

[cypher]

WE KEEP MEANING TO MAKE VILE PLANT KEBABS which I'm pretty sure are an actual game food, and then we could post them and it would be awesome. :3

[cephalopod]

Oh man oh man. Bacon-wrapped avocado chunks on a stick, grilled. It looks like something you pulled out of a shoggoth's trachea BUT SO GOOD

Is there a specific plant that is a Vile Plant?

[cypher]

Yeah, they look...sort of like stubby, short Ents with oversized human skulls on top, and then they have long leaf-arms that the smack you with. :3

[cephalopod]

....and you....you EAT them? And this is totally cool and normal and there's like sauces?

holy crap, xeno and cannibal kinks pinging all over the place.

[cypher]

So, the frog rabbits? That you have in your party?

There's a feral, albino variety of those. And you eat THEM, too.

[cephalopod]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[subtext]

Can I interest you in a marzipan frog rabbit dessert with a disturbingly red berry sauce, comrade? :D

[kiwikiwi]

Ooou, marzipan.

Although, given that they're albino, probably something with white chocolate and raspberry would be appropriate, too...

[cephalopod]

...dude. MERINGUES. WITH LITTLE PEAKS FOR EARS

[subtext]

Or for a savoury, white steamed buns with little eyes and ears!

The possibilities are really fabulous here. I like them ALL.

[subtext]

Ooh, almond bark is like white chocolate but cheaper and really easy to melt. One could make a raspberry filling and pour it into the spoonback-hollowed bellies of little gutted white candy beasties lying on their backs! With red-hots for eyes?